In an instant........

The human psyche can be fooled into feelings of elation or despair. One minute you think you’re fine – then someone tells you something; they don’t love you anymore, you’re fired, or they’d like to talk to you about a new job opportunity, that it turns out you were not qualified for the job, that other candidates were more qualified, or your kid has been accepted into the honors program. Poof – sad or happy as the case may go. What is this? How do we let another person have our power of hope? I do this when I’m not paying attention. Read the news – today’s report from Reuters or Associated Press tells me the job market will not open until the spring. I’ve been waiting 5 months so far (actually – I’ve been darn busy preparing myself for new opportunities, selling myself, studying, getting certified, interviewing & networking).

Some people I have observed online have put themselves on a happiness project of sorts. They decide they will evaluate their own thinking as they respond to the world around them. Isn't this just a personal “PR” effort to put themselves on a program to remain happy regardless the situation? Yes, they establish a goal: I’m going to get a job as a blog writer, I’m going to fight brain cancer and survive, I’m going to focus on communication problems in my marriage, I’m going to be the best parent for a child with autism. Then they track their status, achievements and roadblocks along the way.

We all have a status and a cause… we may not be specific. In your goal setting and status indicating – you should be clear. This goal will take an estimated amount of time: 6 months, a year, 5 years…. So we know when we’ve reached major mile stones. Today's news, good or bad, does not affect your future. It may be a road bump - but it's temporary. You are not.

Who holds the key to your mental happiness? Some doctor who says your prognosis is not good? A hiring manager who used an HR person and a staffing agency to find you, screen you, use a short period of time to determine you wouldn’t be the next technical writer? How can they know? Isn’t your success story just ahead of you? So why do you (and I) put the key’s to our happiness in someone else’s pocket?

We’re human. And so is everyone else.

A valuable book I read that has applicability in just about any endurance setting is “The Survivors Club” by Ben Sherwood. While the book focuses on situations that are life threatening – let’s face it; many of our daily life situations can seem life threatening if we allow our brains to lose hope. I highly recommend you go to the library and read through this book and take note of the skills of survivors inherently have. If you don’t have them – practice.

Choose hope my friend

Beware Of Your Gunless Friend!
The dangerous people are not the ones Who hit you with clubs and rob you with guns! The thief won't attack your character traits Or belittle your abilities to your face! It likely will be a well-meaning friend Who merely crushes your will to win.
No, he doesn't rob you, at point of gun, He simply says, "It can't be done." When pointed to thousands who already are He smiles and says, "They're superior!" Personality-wise, and abilities, too, They're way ahead of what others can do!"
It matters not that his words are untrue For, you feel "others" must know you! So, you're robbed of your hopes, your dreams to succeed. Robbed of the material blessing received, Robbed of your faith that says, "I can." And robbed by an ignorant, gunless friend.
So, the deadliest of men is not he with a gun, But the one who tells you "It can't be done!" For that taken by burglars can be gotten again. But, what can replace your will to win?
~ Author Unknown ~